Dear aspiring Fanfiction writers of the Net:

I, Jareth Valentine, would hereby like to make the following points perfectly clear. Please pay attention.

1. The word 'chemistry' is not spelled with an 'a'. Misspelling words in the synopsis of your story is bad enough, but if you cannot spell the title right, no one will read your story. Especially if the title of your story is a third-grade spelling word.
Misspellings in titles are very rarely acceptable. If the premise of your story is that your protagonist cannot spell, is failing chemistry because of it, and winds up having a relationship with his tutor, fine. That makes it clever. Otherwise, fix it.

2. The body-switch Freaky Friday-esque walk-a-mile storyline is cliche, but arguably a classic, and if done well, or if skirting such tabboo topics such as gender reversal, CAN function as the premise of a good story. However, it does not work if the characters in question are identical twins. Identical twins could simply trade bedrooms and go about their own lives with no one the wiser, as they are IDENTICAL. Stop trying to write Olsen Twins or Zack and Cody stories using this premise.

3. Stories about the actors who portray characters of a particular show do not belong in that show's fandom. They belong in that actor's fandom. A Superman fan will probably not give a crap about Christopher Reeve. He'll want to read about Superman. Stop putting your Zac/Vanessa stories under the High School Musical category; High School Musical fans want to read Troy/Gabriella.
And yes, there IS a difference.

4. Not EVERYTHING should crossover. Seriously. Somethings just don't mix.  DeGrassi/South of Nowhere? Sure. Harry Potter/Peter Pan? Why not. Bambi/Tron? No. Use a little discretion, please.
(Gods. I just know somebody out there's going to write a Bambi/Tron story now...)

5. The people who read slash already believe that it's okay to be gay, or they wouldn't be reading slash. Stop using the characters in your slash stories as mouthpieces for your own pro-gay affirmation propaganda; you're preaching to the choir.

6. On that note, choir is spelled 'choir', not 'quire'. There's not a word processor made these days that doesn't have spell check. Please use it.

7. Stop putting up disclaimers. FF.net is a fanfiction site. Everything there, by definition, belongs to someone else. You don't need to tell us that it's not yours.

8. If you put something up in the wrong section, or rate it wrong, or if the synopsis is not an accurate representation of the story, or if you spring something controversial on your readers with no warning, do not be offended when you start to get bad reviews complaining about it. Contrariwise, if the story is right where it's supposed to be and the synopsis says, plain as day, what to expect, do not read the story and then leave reviews complaining about the content. You knew what you were getting into when you clicked the link. Don't like a particular pairing? Don't read that particular pairing. It's easy as that.

That's all for now. It's okay, I forgive you folks. everyone makes mistakes. Just...TRY to do better in the future, K? Thanks.